Weather · Economy
Dry Spell Leaves Perth Umbrellas Temporarily Unemployed
With rain chances at 10 per cent, brollies across the city sit idle in hallways. Some have taken up hobbies.
Section
Weather (Mostly Rain)
Weather · Long Range
Fog Forecast for Next Week; Kinnoull Hill Expected to Go Missing Briefly
Met Office outlook warns fog could linger. Perth search party on standby for the Friarton Bridge.
Weather · Outlook
Frost Returns Sunday Night; Perth Car Scrapers Report for Duty After Summer Break
Overnight lows near 0°C forecast. Scraper union demands hazard pay and a better glove.
Weather · Halloween
Halloween Forecast: Mostly Dry, Patchy Rain Later; Ghosts Advised to Pack a Cagoule
Saturday 14°C with rain risk rising into the evening. Witches' hats rated 'water-resistant, not waterproof'.
Weather · Perth
Sunny Intervals and 15°C Forecast; Perth Treats Mild Dry Day as a Trap
Met Office puts chance of rain at 10 per cent. Residents carry umbrellas anyway 'out of respect'.
Weather (Mostly Rain)
Halloween Outlook: Bring a Coat; Ghosts Prefer Dry Victims
Weekend trending quieter; costume tip — layers under the sheet.
Weather (Mostly Rain)
Leaves Accept Partial Apology for Chloe No-Show; Resume Blocking Drains Professionally
Autumn foliage returns to core business after crisis talks.
Weather (Mostly Rain)
Matchday Feels Like Nine Degrees; Flask Industry Declares Dividend
Partly cloudy for kick-off; light winds; scarves non-optional.
Weather (Mostly Rain)
Unnamed Weather Endurance Card Still Accepting Stamps; Fifth Remains Free of Something
Collectors advised Chloe stamp was a mood; next named system will be billed properly.
Weather (Mostly Rain)
Forecast: Calmer Wednesday After the Ghosting; Showers Prefer Western Perthshire
Sunny intervals, highs around 13°C, gusts down from Chloe's almost-storm; hills still murky.
Advertisement · Entirely Fictional
Lights out? Smells nice. Now in Power Cut, Granny's Hall Cupboard and Wet Dog By The Fire. Never leave a lit candle unattended, even a funny one.
Advertisement · Entirely Fictional
Feeling a bit leany? Restores posture to stacks, steeples and uncles after weddings. Consult a qualified professional. Seriously. — Kinnoull Vitality Co.