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THE PERTHETIC EMPORIUM
Official Merchandise · Printed on Demand · No Cones Were Harmed
Blow Up Broxden (Women's Tee)
The official shirt of the campaign to blow up Broxden Roundabout, cut for women who have also taken the wrong exit four times. Wearing it counts as signing the petition, morally if not legally.
£28
I Survived the Roadworks (Hoodie)
A battle-scarred traffic cone, black eye and all, on a cosy hoodie for those long winter tailbacks. The works began before records began, and they're still ongoing.
£60
Forecast: Mostly Rain (Pink Tee)
Our most accurate weather forecast ever, now in wearable form. A grumpy cloud tips a bucket over Perth, as is tradition. Outlook: see above.
£27
Which Inch Is Which? (Hoodie)
North Inch or South Inch? Locals have argued about it for centuries, while tourists just stand at the signpost and cry. Both parks deny everything.
£50
Keep Calm and Follow the Cones (Hoodie)
The unofficial motto of the A9, worn by a very smug cone in sunglasses. He knows where you're going, and he's not telling. Ideal for long queues and short tempers.
£60
I Was Diverted in Perth (Mug)
Commemorate your fourteenth scenic detour via Crieff with a nice cup of tea. Holds more tea than the diversion signs hold information.
£12
Blow Up Broxden! (Hoodie)
Every exit is the wrong one, but at least you'll be warm going round again. The campaign hoodie for committed roundabout objectors.
£60
I Survived Perth's Roadworks (Tee)
For everyone who made it through the Great Cone Campaign. Wear it with pride, or at least with a plaster.
£24
Storm Loyalty Card (Tee)
Austen, Boelo and Chloe have all been stamped, and one more storm gets you the fifth free. For anyone whose garden furniture now lives in Dundee. No refunds on roofs.
£17
Perthetic Est. Whenever (Tee)
The masthead of Perth and Kinross's least reliable newspaper, with our tea-drinking, bunnet-wearing mascot. Bringing you the news since roughly whenever.
£17
Bins Take Flight (Tee)
Green wheelie bins heading south for the winter in a neat V over the Tay. Ours came back, and yours may not. A tribute to storm season and the bin timetable alike.
£17
All our designs are printed on organic cotton and made to order, so nothing goes to waste.
Satire; no roundabouts were actually harmed.