Storm Austen Rolls In; Perth Celebrates End of ‘The Sunshine Incident’ With Full Umbrella Protocol

By Ewan Hay, Chief Meteorological Pessimist

PERTH — Storm Austen arrived overnight exactly as forecast, bringing heavy rain and coastal wind to Central, Tayside and Fife, and Perth responded the only way it knows how: by putting the umbrellas up in perfect unison and pretending Thursday never happened.

“I slept better,” said a Craigie woman, wringing out a sleeve. “The sun was nice, but it was exhausting. You had to have opinions about it. Rain doesn’t ask questions.”

The Met Office’s regional forecast called for cloudy weather with occasionally heavy rain, turning quite windy, and a maximum of around 11°C — which locals described as “perfect”, “sensible” and “about time”. Eastern Scotland was warned of 50–75 mm in places. Perth’s puddles, which had briefly dried during Thursday’s bright spells, were reported “back to full operational capacity” by mid-morning.

Bus drivers re-enabled the windscreen-wiper setting known only as “October”. Outdoor chairs on South Street were wheeled back into storage within minutes. A man in Letham who had bought sun cream on Thursday attempted to return it; the shop refused, citing “lessons learned”.

Storm Boelo is already named for the weekend. Residents are said to be “looking forward to it” in the same way one looks forward to a relative who always brings shortbread and chaos.

The real story: Real: Met Office — Storm Austen brings wet and windy Friday to Scotland; Central/Tayside/Fife cloudy with occasionally heavy rain, windy coasts, max ~11°C; Storm Boelo named for weekend