“Scotland's Finest News Source, Allegedly”
A Dunkeld bakery has opened a branch in the village, and it is staying open all winter. Locals call it 'the most important thing to happen on Ford Street since the road'.
Opened at midnight to take back used costumes. Closed at 9am, buried in bin bags and fake blood.
Sold ties to Perth men who did not want them, for 47 years. Closed when America made it official.
Family firework shop, three generations, one week a year. Replaced by a drone.
Sold the extra hour from the clocks going back. Sold out last Sunday. Has nothing left until March.
Sold the smallest sausage rolls in Perthshire. Could not survive news of the largest.
Derek Gow, 66, has been given a tie every Christmas and birthday since 1971. He hears America has declared them dead.
Isobel Kerr comes off her line every time, and says Saints' manager has 'finally caught up'.
Graham Doig, 61, says he's never quite found the right moment. He's had several very nice moments, but not the right one.
Elsie Patterson, 74, turned her clocks back this morning. She says she's 'never been so punctual in her life'.