Pub Darts League Demands Rematch ‘In Actual Light’ After Torchlight Final
Champion willing to defend title; lampshade still declining comment.
“Scotland's Finest News Source, Allegedly”
Champion willing to defend title; lampshade still declining comment.
Marshals praised for standing in leaves 'like very kind traffic cones'.
'Ice doesn't do wind,' repeats skip, sweeping for emphasis.
Boss says Dundee game is earliest realistic return for both absentees.
Valakari warns against reading too much into Motherwell's losing run; Perth reads it twice anyway.
Power cut gives fictional match 'a real medieval atmosphere'.
Course described as 'downhill both ways, wind permitting'.
Wind delivers long-lost ball 'with a slight fade'.
'We've been indoors since 1838,' says sweeping enthusiast.
Fans say team was 'clearly still on BST' for all four goals.

Lights out? Smells nice. Now in Power Cut, Granny's Hall Cupboard and Wet Dog By The Fire. Never leave a lit candle unattended, even a funny one.

Feeling a bit leany? Restores posture to stacks, steeples and uncles after weddings. Consult a qualified professional. Seriously. — Kinnoull Vitality Co.