Sport · Swimming
Open-Water Swimmers Relocate to Leisure Pool Amid Pool Row Irony
Loch too wavy; debate too wavy; lane swimming suddenly attractive.
Section
Sport
Sport · Cycling
Perth Cyclists Report ‘Going Nowhere Fast’ Into Coastal Gusts; E-Bikes Demand Hazard Pay
Commute times double; dignity halved.
Sport · Curling
Curlers Quietly Smug as Outdoor Sports Suffer; Ice ‘Working as Intended’
Indoor ice unaffected by Austen; solidarity limited.
Sport · Golf
Kinross Golfers Abandon Round as Rain Remembers How to Rain; Ballies Declared ‘Unfindable’
Yesterday's visibility crisis replaced by today's traditional crisis.
Sport · Football
St Johnstone Train in Horizontal Rain; Manager Calls It ‘Match Preparation for Scotland’
Squad 'reoriented' after Thursday's confusing shadows.
Sport · Ceilidh
Perth Ceilidh Band Swaps Accordion for Rubber Chickens After Viral Video; Strip the Willow ‘Never the Same’
Dancers report 'a squeak on every beat'; one man 'rushed to Gay Gordons in tears'.
Sport · Golf
Kinross Golfers Overwhelmed by Visibility; ‘Could See Where Ball Went, Very Upsetting’
Players used to losing balls in fog 'forced to confront their actual ability'.
Sport · Curling
Curlers Accuse Sun of ‘Interfering With the Ice’ Despite Being Indoors
Perth rink says sun 'was nowhere near it'; curlers 'still felt it'.
Sport · Endurance
NASA Rover Sets Off-World Driving Record; Perth Driver Says He Did Further Round Broxden
Mars rover's distance 'impressive but it never had to merge'.
Sport · Football
St Johnstone Train in Sunshine for First Time, Squad ‘Disoriented’ by Shadows
Players spend session chasing their own shadows; manager calls it 'useful work on spatial awareness'.
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