“Scotland's Finest News Source, Allegedly”
Saturday afternoon matches may soon be on telly. In Perthshire, a generation of men face sitting on the couch next to the family.
England captain takes football's top individual prize. A Thursday-night player at Bell's says his award is 'equally prestigious, locally'.
Fallon Sherrock lifts a huge prize in an amateur event. A Craigie pub team says it is 'definitely amateur enough'.
League Cup semi-final takes over the weekend. Perth's football fans say being neutral is 'a full-time job with no pay'.
After last weekend's late point against Motherwell, St Johnstone travel to bottom side Kilmarnock for a 3pm kick-off. Fans have packed sweets and nerves.
Temperatures fall to around zero. Curling fans hope for outdoor ice, motorists hope for a working de-icer, and nobody gets what they want.
Saturday morning on the Inch will be dry and bright. Organisers warn that capes and the Tay wind are not friends.
Nations Championship kicks off at Murrayfield on 7 November. Perth rugby fans begin a strict training regime of standing up suddenly.
Saturday 9pm qualifying means one parent has to stand on the doorstep handing out sweets while listening to tyre strategy on a phone.
St Johnstone travel to Rugby Park on Saturday, 3pm, after Wednesday's 2-2 with Motherwell. Away fans told to dress as 'a team that keeps a clean sheet'.
Lights out? Smells nice. Now in Power Cut, Granny's Hall Cupboard and Wet Dog By The Fire. Never leave a lit candle unattended, even a funny one.
Feeling a bit leany? Restores posture to stacks, steeples and uncles after weddings. Consult a qualified professional. Seriously. — Kinnoull Vitality Co.