Storm Boelo Arrives in Perth, Is Told to Take a Number Behind Storm Austen
Second named storm in two days finds the Fair City's queue system 'very much in operation'; wheelie bins reported migrating south for the winter.
“Scotland's Finest News Source, Allegedly”
Second named storm in two days finds the Fair City's queue system 'very much in operation'; wheelie bins reported migrating south for the winter.
South Methven Street's most famous stack keeps cordon company through the storm.
Fictional hotline swamped within minutes.
First time in recorded history bins have shown better judgement than humans.
Union of Plastic Chairs says members 'simply felt the call'.
Unsafe stack near Scott Street Car Park causes cordon and evacuations; chimney reportedly 'loving the attention' while everyone else gets on with being sensible.
Birds 'just here for the stack', say ornithologists.
Planning application to turn a shop into escape rooms is validated.
Council signage for traders near the cordon is a hit; please do actually go shopping.
Critics praise the piece's 'confident relationship with lamp-posts'.

Lights out? Smells nice. Now in Power Cut, Granny's Hall Cupboard and Wet Dog By The Fire. Never leave a lit candle unattended, even a funny one.

Feeling a bit leany? Restores posture to stacks, steeples and uncles after weddings. Consult a qualified professional. Seriously. — Kinnoull Vitality Co.