Westminster · Calendar
Commons Not Sitting Friday; MPs Urged to Spend Long Weekend Experiencing Scottish Public Transport
Both Houses return Monday. Perth offers MPs a free trial of a Saturday on the A9, with flask.
Section
Politics
Commons · Transport
Transport Questions Held in Commons; Perthshire Listens Carefully in Case Anybody Says ‘Dualling’
Ministers face MPs on roads, rail and buses. Perth submits written question: 'Why is there a cone in my garden?'
Commons · Budget
Budget Debate Day Two: Kinnoull Man Still Halfway Through Day One
Commons continues to argue over the Budget. Retired accountant vows to 'catch up by Christmas, or at least the Glendoick bit'.
Energy · North Sea
Labour MPs Lobby Over Rosebank as Cabinet Prepares to Take Strong, Decisive Stance at Some Point
Energy secretary reportedly minded to refuse oilfield. Chancellor reportedly minded to have a word. North Sea reportedly minded to stay wet.
Westminster · Budget
Chancellor Vows to Cut Benefits Bill ‘In a Labour Way’; Perth Asks What the Other Ways Were
John Healey wants welfare spending down before the election. Scottish voters request a diagram, and ideally a biscuit.
Politics
Fictional Bridie Select Committee Demands Evidence Session With a Jar of Gherkins
Witness list: one pastry, one pickle, one standing charge, one honest discussion umbrella.
Politics
Pint Duty Chatter Reaches Perth; Seagull in Flat Cap Already Holding Receipt
National Budget colour: alcohol duties in the mix; local satire: a bird with a +2p tag.
Politics
In-House Bus Business Case Still on Table; Broxden Submits ‘Character Reference’ Unprompted
Councillors weighing options after AI map week; Highland Perthshire watching closely.
Politics
Holyrood Intern Discovers ‘Screening Opinion’; Immediately Applies for One on Own Career
Dunkeld quarry paperwork becomes accidental national metaphor for second thoughts.
Politics
Budget Day: Everyday Fixes Land; Perth Measures Them Against the Gas Bill
Standing charges, prescription freezes and tariff chatter — satire reserved for the gherkins.
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Feeling a bit leany? Restores posture to stacks, steeples and uncles after weddings. Consult a qualified professional. Seriously. — Kinnoull Vitality Co.