“Scotland's Finest News Source, Allegedly”
Proposed sister village asked to submit evidence of drizzle, midges and a tearoom that shuts at four 'before anything is signed'.
Engineers confirm plan will free up Broxden 'for the exclusive use of people who are lost'.
Affordable housing programme 'beats expectations', causing confusion, celebration and one person to lie down in a cupboard.
Bids 'impossible to evaluate' after tender asked suppliers to quote in 'slabs, squares and wee bits'.
Final phase in Blairgowrie, Bridge of Earn and Bankfoot hailed as 'a stepping stone towards total stillness'.
Cones on York Place, Caledonian Road and King's Place to receive voting rights, a council tax band and, in some cases, a small pension.
30-year city expansion begins with an underpass, which locals describe as 'the most romantic thing the council has ever done'.
Officials barricade themselves inside council HQ with a 2019 budget, three staplers and the ceremonial Thimblerow swimming pool plans.
Lights out? Smells nice. Now in Power Cut, Granny's Hall Cupboard and Wet Dog By The Fire. Never leave a lit candle unattended, even a funny one.
Feeling a bit leany? Restores posture to stacks, steeples and uncles after weddings. Consult a qualified professional. Seriously. — Kinnoull Vitality Co.