Politics · Transport
Perth Rules E-Scooters May Only Be Used ‘Downhill, in Moderation’
New bylaw also bans going uphill 'with any sort of expression on your face'.
Section
Politics
Politics · Roads
All Parties Unite Behind Pledge to ‘Do Something About Potholes’ Before Remembering It’s the Same Pledge as Last Year
Cross-party roads summit ends with photo opportunity next to a pothole that has since been named 'Derek'.
Politics · Time
Perth Demands Referendum on Clocks Going Back, Insists Extra Hour Be Spent ‘Somewhere Drier’
Residents of Kinross propose keeping the extra hour for 'a lie-in, but outdoors, in Spain'.
Politics · Council
Council Meeting on Broxden Roundabout Itself Goes Round in Circles for Six Hours
Agenda item 4 revisited 'at least eleven times'; minutes now shaped like a circle.
Politics · Parking
Council Awards Parking App Contract With One Bidder; Bidder ‘Delighted, Surprised’ to Win
£305,000 deal to let you pay for parking on your phone, which you will then not be able to find the signal for.
Planning
Councillors Approve ‘Vital’ Return of Bridge of Earn Filling Station; Village Weeps Into Its Unleaded
Buying petrol without driving to buy petrol hailed as 'a miracle of modern governance'.
Planning
Two Perthshire Filling Stations Found Operating Without Planning Consent; Council Decides This Is ‘Probably Fine, Honestly’
Officials say enforcement 'would mean filling in a form about the people who didn't fill in a form'.
Education
Council Scraps May Day Holiday and End-of-Term Early Finishes; Parents and Pupils Unite for First Time in History
New February break welcomed, but losing the Christmas half-day 'an attack on the Scottish way of life'.
Politics
Holyrood Plan to ‘Declutter’ the Public Sector Sends Council Into a Frantic Marie Kondo Session
Officials hold up each department and ask: 'Does this spark joy?' Planning 'not answering'.
Politics
MSP Writes to Transport Scotland About Hermitage Verge Parking, Joining Queue of 4,000 Letters About the A9
Transport Scotland confirms all correspondence will be dealt with 'in the order received, dualled or not'.
Advertisement · Entirely Fictional
Lights out? Smells nice. Now in Power Cut, Granny's Hall Cupboard and Wet Dog By The Fire. Never leave a lit candle unattended, even a funny one.
Advertisement · Entirely Fictional
Feeling a bit leany? Restores posture to stacks, steeples and uncles after weddings. Consult a qualified professional. Seriously. — Kinnoull Vitality Co.