Obituaries · St John Street
SIZE NINE ONLY (1996–2026): Single-Size Shoe Boutique Steps Out for the Last Time
Perth's most specialist footwear outlet closes after 30 years, citing 'too many people with the wrong feet'.
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Obituaries for Shops
Obituaries · Perth
85TH MINUTE TAXIS (2004–2026): Firm That Took Fans Home Early Finally Admits Defeat
Cab company built on beating the McDiarmid traffic closes after too many late goals. 'We were taking them away from the good bit,' founder admits.
Obituaries · Carse of Gowrie
THE PUMPKIN POP-UP (1–29 October 2026): Seasonal Stall Evicted by Reindeer Two Days Early
Spooky stall vacates after Christmas arrives ahead of schedule. Survived by 80 unsold gourds.
Obituaries · North Inch
NORTH INCH HEATER HIRE (2027–2027): Business Collapses Before It Even Opens
Firm planning to rent heaters at an unheated venue told there's 'a reason it's unheated'.
Obituaries · Kinnoull Street
PERTH BROLLY HIRE (2019–2026): Umbrella Rental Kiosk Succumbs to Sunny Intervals
Much-loved stall could not survive a 10 per cent chance of rain. Survived by 400 umbrellas, all dry.
Obituaries for Shops
Phase 1 Diversion Souvenir Hut (Eight Days, Blairgowrie)
Closed as Phase 2 began; leftover postcards of Emma Street now half-price.
Obituaries for Shops
Torchlight Darts Emporium (Storm Week–Calmer Wednesday)
Fictional shop sold headtorches for pub finals; demand collapsed when lights returned.
Obituaries for Shops
Wrong Map Mystery Tours (36 hours, 2026)
Fictional operator closed after every tour ended correctly on purpose.
Obituaries for Shops
Everyday Fixes Gherkin PR Desk (Budget Eve–Budget Day)
Fictional desk closed once the bridie amendment arrived and refused to leave.
Obituaries for Shops
LOOK AGAIN Pop-Up Stamp Booth (Tue pm–Wed am, 2026)
Fictional booth closed after everyone borrowed the stamp and forgot to return it.
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Feeling a bit leany? Restores posture to stacks, steeples and uncles after weddings. Consult a qualified professional. Seriously. — Kinnoull Vitality Co.