Politics · Transport
Perth Rules E-Scooters May Only Be Used ‘Downhill, in Moderation’
New bylaw also bans going uphill 'with any sort of expression on your face'.
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Politics · Roads
All Parties Unite Behind Pledge to ‘Do Something About Potholes’ Before Remembering It’s the Same Pledge as Last Year
Cross-party roads summit ends with photo opportunity next to a pothole that has since been named 'Derek'.
Politics · Time
Perth Demands Referendum on Clocks Going Back, Insists Extra Hour Be Spent ‘Somewhere Drier’
Residents of Kinross propose keeping the extra hour for 'a lie-in, but outdoors, in Spain'.
Politics · Council
Council Meeting on Broxden Roundabout Itself Goes Round in Circles for Six Hours
Agenda item 4 revisited 'at least eleven times'; minutes now shaped like a circle.
Politics · Parking
Council Awards Parking App Contract With One Bidder; Bidder ‘Delighted, Surprised’ to Win
£305,000 deal to let you pay for parking on your phone, which you will then not be able to find the signal for.
Local · High Street
Perth High Street Pigeon Awarded Business Rates Relief After Opening ‘Pop-Up’ Shop in Empty Unit
Bird 'selling mainly crumbs' is first new retailer on that stretch since spring.
Local · Schools
Tattie Holidays Over; Perthshire Children Return to School Having Not Picked a Single Tattie
Generational shift as 'tattie howking' replaced by 'tattie looking at on a phone'.
Local · Pitlochry
Enchanted Forest Visitors Mistake A9 Temporary Traffic Lights for Part of the Show
Families stop to applaud red-amber-green 'light installation'; one dad gives it four stars.
Local · Culture
Perth Museum Visitors Still Queueing to See Stone of Destiny Told It’s ‘Basically a Rock’ by Toddler
Three-year-old's review goes viral; museum says it 'welcomes all critics, including those who are mostly snack'.
Local · Parking
Perth Car Parks Hit by QR Code Scammers Again; Residents Now Too Scared to Scan Anything, Including Shopping
Tesco tills 'grind to a halt' as shoppers refuse to let barcodes near their phones.