Roadworks · A9
A9 Dualling Now Officially Slower Than Continental Drift, Geologists Confirm
Scotland and North America moving apart at 2.5cm a year; Perth to Inverness dual carriageway 'still warming up'.
Archive
Author: admin
Roadworks · Blairgowrie
Blairgowrie to Be Closed for Two Weeks for Resurfacing; Residents Asked to Hover
Perth Street shut from Thursday; buses diverted via Beeches Road and Emma Street, which have never been so popular.
World · Europe
Europe Prepares to Change Clocks Again; Perth Asks to Be Moved Into ‘Whatever Time Zone Spain’s In’
Twice-yearly hour shift continues; Perth offers to swap an hour of October for 'an hour of somewhere nice'.
Breaking · Weather
Met Office Forecasts ‘Dry With Bright Spells’ for Thursday; Perth Declares a Major Incident
Council opens emergency sun centres as residents are urged to 'stay indoors, keep calm and locate their sunglasses, if they own any'.
World · Science
Scientists Find 57 New Species in a Deep-Sea Canyon Off Argentina; Perth Notes It Finds 57 New Potholes a Week
Sea cucumber nicknamed 'Loki' hailed as 'the most charismatic thing found in a hole since Dunkeld Road'.
World · Canada
Alberta Votes on Leaving Canada; Kinross-shire Quietly Asks for a Copy of the Paperwork
Breakaway tendencies across Perthshire 'taking notes, just in case'.
World · Science
Physicists Say the Universe May Be in ‘Cosmic Lockdown’; Council Asks to Be Consulted
A simplified model of a universe that won't move is welcomed in Perth as 'very relatable'.
World · United States
Trump Announces 15-Month Overhaul of Washington Golf Course; Perthshire Clubhouses Brace in Case He Notices Them
Greenkeepers 'quietly mowing and hoping not to be noticed'.
World · Space
Japan Launches Mission to Bring Back Bits of a Martian Moon; Perth Asks If It Could Do the Same for a Bus
Spacecraft will scoop samples from Phobos and bring them home, 'which is more than some services manage on a Sunday'.
Obituaries for Shops
The BANK OF SCOTLAND, Crieff (Formerly): Reborn as a Charity Shop, in What Experts Call ‘the Circle of High Street Life’
Building that once held the town's savings will now sell its second-hand jigsaws, which is basically the same thing.