Sport
Saints Host Motherwell Seeking Bounce-Back; Wind Asked to Blow Toward Away Goal Only
Valakari warns against reading too much into Motherwell's losing run; Perth reads it twice anyway.
Back Issue
Tuesday, 27 October 2026
Politics
MPs Eye Cask Ale as Cultural Heritage; Perth Already Treating It as a Basic Human Right
Westminster Hall debate warmly welcomed by fictional bar stools across the Fair City.
Politics
Westminster Debates ‘Community Resilience’; Perth Notes It Practised All Weekend With a Kettle
Street-level resilience defined as 'one generator, thirty phones, infinite tea'.
Politics
Opposition Demands Inquiry Into AI Map; Map Demands Inquiry Into Opposition’s Sense of Direction
Fictional Holyrood exchange lasts nine minutes and ends in Auchterarder.
Politics
UK–EU Free Movement Talks Continue; Perth Tables Free Movement Round Broxden Annex
Business Secretary says people are the boss; Broxden says it is also the boss.
Politics
PM’s ‘Everyday Fixes’ Include Cheaper Gherkins; Perth Asks If Bridies Are Next
Tories call it an insult; Fair City calls it 'a start, then the peh'.
Weather (Mostly Rain)
Halloween Weekend Outlook: Calmer, Darker, Still Damp Enough for a Witch
Forecasters hint at quieter spell; costumes advised to include a proper coat.
Weather (Mostly Rain)
Energy Crews Still Climbing Poles; Perth Offers Infinite Tea and Finite Biscuits
Real thanks after Boelo; fictional biscuit tin now empty from Crieff to Coupar Angus.
Weather (Mostly Rain)
Leaves Hold Crisis Talks After Being Told Chloe Isn’t Coming; Refuse to Leave Drives
Autumn foliage 'feels lied to' and has doubled down on letterboxes.
Weather (Mostly Rain)
Storm Loyalty Cards Declared ‘Emotionally Valid, Meteorologically Void’
Collectors of Austen and Boelo stamps told Chloe stamp 'was always aspirational'.