Monday, 2 November 2026 · Perth, PerthshireToday: Rain, then some different rain · Est. whenever

“Scotland's Finest News Source, Allegedly”

Vol. CXII · No. 4,822Late Drizzle EditionPrice: One Tablet
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Weather (Mostly Rain)

Leaves Hold Crisis Talks After Being Told Chloe Isn’t Coming; Refuse to Leave Drives

Autumn foliage 'feels lied to' and has doubled down on letterboxes.

Leaves, entrenched.

Leaves, entrenched. Photo: , “Autumn leaves on the driveway - geograph.org.uk - 8402470”, via Wikimedia Commons, CC BY-SA 2.0

PERTHSHIRE — Having rearranged themselves for a third named storm, the region’s leaves are now refusing to move on.

“We prepared,” said a fictional sycamore leaf stuck to a windscreen. “We will stay until someone invents a fourth season called Leave-Off.”

Residents are advised to sweep carefully; paths remain slippery after heavy rain.

The real story: Fictional.

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