It Happened: Sun Appears Over Perth for 47 Minutes; Entire City Closes Umbrellas in Unison, Then Panics

By Ewan Hay, Chief Meteorological Pessimist

PERTH — At 11.14am on Thursday, exactly as the Met Office had warned, the sun came out over Perth, and for 47 extraordinary minutes the city did not know what to do with itself.

“I was on the Old Bridge,” said a Craigie woman. “The light changed. Everyone stopped. Then, very slowly, all the umbrellas went down at once, like a Mexican wave of relief. A man next to me whispered ‘is this it? Is this the end?’ I said no, son. It’s a bright spell.”

Witnesses reported a range of alarming symptoms: shadows, steam rising from the pavement, and a feeling of warmth on the face which one Scone pensioner described as “deeply suspicious”. Several people removed their jackets and then immediately put them back on “just in case”.

The council’s long-sealed “Sunny Day — Do Not Open” binder was finally opened. It contained a single sheet reading “Panic”, a photograph of the 1995 heatwave, and a leaflet on sun cream that had expired in 2003.

Pubs on South Street put out a combined total of four outdoor chairs, all of which were occupied within ninety seconds by men in shorts that had not been worn since a stag do in Magaluf.

At 12.01pm a cloud arrived from the direction of Methven and normality was restored. “Thank God,” said a bus driver. “I didn’t have my sunglasses. I don’t even know if I own sunglasses.” Friday’s forecast is wet and windy. The city is said to be “recovering well”.

The real story: Real: Met Office regional forecast for Thursday 22 Oct — dry with bright spells; wet and windy Friday