Monday, 2 November 2026 · Perth, PerthshireToday: Rain, then some different rain · Est. whenever

“Scotland's Finest News Source, Allegedly”

Vol. CXII · No. 4,822Late Drizzle EditionPrice: One Tablet
← Front Page
Roadworks

Pothole-Pond Ducks Reject Resurfacing Offer; Demand Nesting Rights and a Plaque

Negotiations ongoing; council timeframe remains 'the agreed one'.

Ducks, unionised.

Ducks, unionised. Photo: Jaggery, “Puddle Ducks, Station Road, Raglan - geograph.org.uk - 5836100”, via Wikimedia Commons, CC BY-SA 2.0

PERTH — The ducks occupying a flooded pothole have rejected a fictional offer of alternative accommodation in a nicer puddle.

“They want a plaque,” said resident Alan Gray. “Reading ‘On This Spot, Infrastructure Became Habitat’.”

Please drive carefully around floodwater and report genuine hazards the normal way.

The real story: Fictional.

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