“Scotland's Finest News Source, Allegedly”
Americans vote for Congress, governors and more. Perth explains it using the only system it understands: the community council.
Countries agree on protecting nature, with funding the sticking point. Perthshire wildlife says it is 'not cheap being this beautiful'.
Investigators link the huge theft to North Korea. A Craigie pensioner points out her tin has a lid that 'takes two hands and a butter knife'.
World leaders scrap the traditional group shot. Perthshire households say the annual family photo has always been a diplomatic incident.
Leo XIV returns his mail-in ballot to Illinois. In Perthshire, the main question is how the Vatican post compares with Royal Mail.
Bolsonaro ally says AI wrote the controversial letter. In Perth, technology is now officially responsible for all family arguments.
Arctic town gets long-haul ambitions. Perth's own aerodrome, meanwhile, offers flying lessons, helicopters and a bacon roll.
'Kate's Knitalian' exhibition features woolly spaghetti and knitted tiramisu. A Scone knitter says she knitted a full Sunday roast in 2019.
The famous papal vehicle is honoured in Rome. In Perth, pensioners point out their scooters face greater daily hazards, mainly bins.
Tokyo celebrates a long-awaited milestone. In Perth, prices of mince were said to have 'reached target some time ago'.
Lights out? Smells nice. Now in Power Cut, Granny's Hall Cupboard and Wet Dog By The Fire. Never leave a lit candle unattended, even a funny one.
Feeling a bit leany? Restores posture to stacks, steeples and uncles after weddings. Consult a qualified professional. Seriously. — Kinnoull Vitality Co.