“Scotland's Finest News Source, Allegedly”
City of Perth 'happy to lend Massachusetts a few thousand traffic cones if it wants to make a proper go of it'.
Local growers claim a Scottish pumpkin is 'just as big on the inside, emotionally'.
Timekeepers' decision 'will make no difference whatsoever' to Stagecoach timetables, bin collections or the Perth station clock.
Roads chiefs 'deeply inspired' by a deadline described as settled, final and absolutely not subject to review.
Local sceptic: 'If I believed every man who promised me money if I did what he said, I'd own Broxden by now.'
Lights out? Smells nice. Now in Power Cut, Granny's Hall Cupboard and Wet Dog By The Fire. Never leave a lit candle unattended, even a funny one.
Feeling a bit leany? Restores posture to stacks, steeples and uncles after weddings. Consult a qualified professional. Seriously. — Kinnoull Vitality Co.