Perth’s 201 Portable Traffic Lights Form Union, Demand Shorter Red Phases ‘For Our Own Mental Health’
The lights say they are tired of being shouted at. Motorists say the lights started it.
A portable traffic light, one of 201 now said to be 'organising'. Photo: Jonathan Hutchins, “Audley, temporary traffic lights at roadworks - geograph.org.uk - 4261161”, via Wikimedia Commons, CC BY-SA 2.0
Perth and Kinross’s 201 sets of portable traffic lights have formed a union, the Perthetic understands, and have issued their first set of demands.
“We stand at the side of the road in all weathers,” a spokeslight said. “We are kicked by cyclists. We are blown over by lorries. We are sworn at by men in vans. And all we do is our job, which is turning red for slightly longer than anyone wants.”
The union is demanding shorter red phases, a weekly wipe, and an end to the practice of being left on a road “for a fortnight after the workmen have gone home”.
Motorists are unsympathetic. “They’re power mad,” said one Crieff driver. “There was one at Gilmerton that kept me at red for four minutes with nobody coming the other way. It was enjoying it. You could tell.”
Talks are ongoing. A temporary amber phase has been agreed.
The real story: Perth and Kinross Council roadworks
Letters to the Editor
The views expressed are those of the reader, and frankly that's on them.
-
The one at Gilmerton is definitely enjoying it. I’ve seen it smirk.
— Alistair J., Gilmerton, 30 October 2026 -
I’m on the lights’ side. They do a thankless job.
— Lorraine M., Crieff, 30 October 2026
Write to the Editor