Monday, 2 November 2026 · Perth, PerthshireToday: Rain, then some different rain · Est. whenever

“Scotland's Finest News Source, Allegedly”

Vol. CXII · No. 4,822Late Drizzle EditionPrice: One Tablet
← Front Page
Football · Premiership

Scottish Premiership Hit by Outbreak of Draws; Experts Recommend Rest, Fluids and a Winner

Hearts, Rangers, Celtic, Dundee United, Hibs, St Mirren, Saints and Motherwell all share points. League table reclassified as 'a suggestion'.

Scottish Premiership Hit by Outbreak of Draws; Experts Recommend Rest, Fluids and a Winner

A football mid-flight, refusing to pick a side. Photo: Michael Barera, “Army vs. Air Force football 2021 40 (Air Force field goal)”, via Wikimedia Commons, CC BY-SA 4.0

Scottish football was battling an outbreak of draws after a midweek round in which Hearts drew with Rangers, Celtic drew with Dundee United, Hibs drew with St Mirren and St Johnstone drew with Motherwell — the last of those in the 93rd minute, because Perth cannot do anything the easy way.

Only Falkirk and Dundee won, prompting fears that winning may become “a regional thing”.

“We advise clubs to keep their distance, avoid crowded penalty boxes and, if symptoms persist, shoot,” said a spokesperson for the Perthetic’s sports medical desk.

This weekend’s League Cup semi-finals — Rangers v Aberdeen on Saturday and Hearts v Hibs on Sunday — are expected to be immune, since somebody has to go through. Probably. There’s always penalties.

The real story: Scottish football (BBC Sport Scotland)

Letters to the Editor

The views expressed are those of the reader, and frankly that's on them.

No letters yet. The town is uncharacteristically quiet.

Write to the Editor

Your email will not be published. Your opinions, regrettably, will.