Monday, 2 November 2026 · Perth, PerthshireToday: Rain, then some different rain · Est. whenever

“Scotland's Finest News Source, Allegedly”

Vol. CXII · No. 4,822Late Drizzle EditionPrice: One Tablet
← Front Page
Roadworks

Council Commissions Risk Assessment of Its Risk Assessments, Finds Them ‘Reassuringly Thorough’

Fictional report runs to 400 pages, all laminated.

Paperwork, standing tall.

Paperwork, standing tall. Photo: Jacek, “Stack of ringless binders”, via Wikimedia Commons, CC BY-SA 4.0

PERTH — A fictional review of the city’s risk assessments has concluded that they are “extremely thorough, slightly damp, and correctly laminated”, and recommended a follow-up review of the review.

Perthetic notes that in the real world, careful assessments are exactly why cordons go up quickly and everyone stays safe, so frankly, laminate away.

The real story: Context: structural engineer assessment led to cordon (The Courier).

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