The Best Journey in the World Is the One That Ends With Your Mum Putting the Kettle On. Mongolia Can Wait

By our Homeward Bound Columnist

Ewan McGregor has driven motorbikes round the world. He has seen deserts, jungles and mountains. And when asked his favourite ride, he chose the one that ends at his parents’ house in Crieff, with a cup of tea.

This is the most Scottish thing anybody has said all year, and I would like to build on it.

Every journey in Scotland is secretly about the cup of tea at the end. The Munro is about the flask at the top. The trip to IKEA in Edinburgh is about the cup of tea when you get back and realise you have bought a lamp you did not need. And the long drive up the A9 is about the moment when your mother opens the door and says, “Oh, you’re here. I’ve not hoovered.”

I have been to Paris. It was very nice. Nobody put the kettle on. I have been to New York. A man sold me a coffee the size of a bucket. It was not tea, and he was not my mum.

I would go further than Ewan. I would say that the best part of any journey is the bit where your mum asks whether you’ve eaten, you say you have, and she makes you a sandwich anyway.

So by all means, ride across Mongolia. See the world. But remember to finish at your mum’s. And take your boots off. She’s just done the carpet.

The real story: Ewan McGregor's favourite ride (The Courier)