Meet the Letham Dad Who Does a Full Audit of His Children’s Halloween Sweets Before Bed and Keeps ‘a Processing Fee’
Derek Kinnaird, 42, an accountant, says the 'Dad Tax' is 15 per cent, payable in mini chocolate bars.
A bag of Halloween sweets, about to be audited. Photo: U.S. Air Force photo by Airman 1st Class Jessel Fabara, “Costumes and Candy Fill Misawa Air Base (9393626)”, via Wikimedia Commons, Public domain
Derek Kinnaird, 42, from Letham, is an accountant, and tonight, like every Halloween, he will carry out a full audit of his three children’s sweets.
“It’s for safety,” he said. “Every sweet is checked, counted and logged. Then a processing fee is taken. It’s 15 per cent. It’s called the Dad Tax.”
His children are not happy with the system. “He takes all the good ones,” said his nine-year-old daughter. “He leaves us the ones that taste like toothpaste.”
Derek says his records go back eight years. “In 2021, we had a bumper year. Over 200 sweets. The Dad Tax that year was very good,” he said. “In 2023, it rained, and returns were poor. We had to dip into reserves.”
His wife says the children have now started an appeal. Derek says the matter is “with the board”, which is his wife.
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The board has heard the appeal and is considering the toothpaste ones.
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Fifteen per cent is fair. I take twenty. I call it VAT.
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