PM’s ‘Everyday Fixes’ Include Cheaper Gherkins; Perth Asks If Bridies Are Next
Tories call it an insult; Fair City calls it 'a start, then the peh'.
A gherkin, politicised. Photo: Liz Sullivan, “Gherkins and Onions”, via Wikimedia Commons, CC BY-SA 4.0
PERTH — Pre-Budget ‘everyday fixes’ from the government — including tariff changes ministers say could shave a little off the food shop — were met in Perth with one local priority list: bridies, then rolls, then, fine, gherkins.
“I’ll take a cheaper gherkin,” said fictional butcher’s-queue philosopher Davie Mailer, 71. “But if they can do a gherkin they can do a steak bridie. That’s statesmanship.”
Opposition MPs dismissed the package as small beer. Perth’s fictional Gherkin Appreciation Society issued a three-line whip to “remain cautiously delighted”.
The real story: PM's everyday fixes mocked as 'cheaper gherkins' (The Guardian politics live, 27 Oct 2026)
Letters to the Editor
The views expressed are those of the reader, and frankly that's on them.
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Do the bridie next. Then we’ll talk statesmanship.
— Davie M., Perth, 27 October 2026 -
I’ll take a cheaper gherkin. I’m not proud.
— Isa W., Methven, 27 October 2026
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