Storm Chloe Ghosts Perth After Booking Tuesday Slot; Loyalty Card Holders Demand Refund of Nothing
Met Office declines to name the third storm; Fair City left with yellow warning, sideways rain and a cancelled stamp.
Perthetic cartoon: Storm Chloe rejected from the loyalty card. Illustration, not a photograph. Illustration: Perthetic Cartoon Desk (AI-assisted; not a photograph)
PERTH — After a weekend spent laminating Storm Loyalty Cards and clearing a space by the door for Storm Chloe, Perth woke on Tuesday to the news that Chloe would not, in fact, be officially named.
“She booked the slot, she RSVP’d, and then she just… didn’t show up as a proper storm,” said a fictional council customer-service officer, holding up a card with AUSTEN and BOELO stamped and CHLOE crossed out in red. “We’ve had to refund nothing, which is somehow worse than refunding something.”
The real weather is still no joke. A Met Office yellow wind warning covered much of Scotland into Tuesday evening, with gusts still strong on coasts after Storm Boelo. Chloe remains the next name on the list for when a system does meet the threshold. Please keep checking official forecasts, watch for debris, and look in on neighbours.
Residents adapted with characteristic grace. “I’ve written Chloe a postcard,” said fictional Letham pensioner Agnes Duthie, 79. “It says ‘thinking of you’ on the front and ‘coward’ on the back. In very neat handwriting.”
At press time the loyalty scheme was being rebranded as the Unnamed Weather Endurance Card. Stamps still available. Fifth one still free of something. Nobody has agreed what.
The real story: Met Office declines to name Tuesday's system Storm Chloe; yellow wind warnings continue (BBC / STV, 26–27 Oct 2026)
Letters to the Editor
The views expressed are those of the reader, and frankly that's on them.
-
I knitted a scarf for Chloe. I’m keeping it. She can ask politely.
— Agnes D., Letham, 27 October 2026 -
Refund of nothing is the most Perth transaction I’ve ever heard.
— Kenny D., Tulloch, 27 October 2026 -
Two stamps and a declined third. Framing it.
— Sandra W., Craigie, 27 October 2026 -
In my day storms showed up. Or at least phoned.
— Bill R., Bridge of Earn, 27 October 2026
Write to the Editor