Monday, 2 November 2026 · Perth, PerthshireToday: Rain, then some different rain · Est. whenever

“Scotland's Finest News Source, Allegedly”

Vol. CXII · No. 4,822Late Drizzle EditionPrice: One Tablet
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Politics

Council Unveils 40-Page Umbrella Policy; Policy Blows Away

Fictional document last seen near Bridge of Earn.

Paperwork, airborne.

Paperwork, airborne. Photo: Epattloamer, “HK Central footbridge Sunday holiday visitors Fibra paper booths Winter wind Dec-2012”, via Wikimedia Commons, CC BY-SA 3.0

PERTH — A fictional new policy on umbrellas in civic buildings was unveiled at 10am and was in Bridge of Earn by 10:04. Officials say a laminated copy is “under consideration”.

The real story: Fictional.

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