A9 Dualling Now Officially Slower Than Continental Drift, Geologists Confirm
Scotland and North America moving apart at 2.5cm a year; Perth to Inverness dual carriageway 'still warming up'.
The A9 near Dunkeld, photographed during one of its single-carriageway years (all of them). Photo: N Chadwick, “A9, Dunkeld - geograph.org.uk - 6965959”, via Wikimedia Commons, CC BY-SA 2.0
DUNKELD — Geologists have confirmed that the Atlantic Ocean is widening faster than the A9 is being dualled, ending a long-running pub argument in Pitlochry.
“The tectonic plates are moving at about two and a half centimetres a year,” said a visiting earth scientist. “By our calculations the A9 has been beaten by the sea floor, a glacier, and at one point, a snail from Bankfoot.”
The dualling programme, originally due for completion in 2025, continues with overnight temporary traffic signals at Pitlochry North this week, which locals have welcomed as “at least something happening, at night, where nobody can see it.”
Transport planners insist progress is real. “New sections are opening,” said one. “Up by Inverness they’re moving traffic onto a new carriageway. That’s basically the A9 putting one foot forward. Admittedly it’s the foot furthest from Perth.”
A Ballinluig woman said she had been promised a dual carriageway for her 40th birthday. “I’m 71 now,” she said. “I’ve asked for it for my 100th instead. They said ‘let’s not over-promise’.”
The real story: Real: A9 Dualling overnight temporary signals at Pitlochry North, 20–22 Oct 2026 (Transport Scotland); programme originally due 2025
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