Arsenal Say They Relish the Anxiety of a Title Race. Welcome to Scotland, Lads. We’ve Been Relishing It Since Argentina 1978

By our Football Columnist

Arsenal’s players have been talking about how much they enjoy the pressure and nerves of a title race. Lovely. I’m pleased for them. But I would like to point out that they are amateurs.

Scottish football supporters have been doing anxiety at an elite level for decades. We are the world champions of it. We have watched our national team qualify for things, then not qualify for things, then nearly qualify for things in ways that took years off our lives.

I have been to McDiarmid Park when Saints were 1-0 up with 85 minutes gone, and I have seen grown men eat a whole pie without chewing, purely from stress. I have seen a woman knit an entire sleeve during stoppage time.

The thing about anxiety is that it means you care. If you didn’t care, you’d be at home doing the garden. You’re not. You’re in the stand, in the cold, with a cup of Bovril, staring at a referee as if he has personally insulted your granny. That’s love, that is.

So welcome, Arsenal, to the anxiety. Here are some Scottish tips. Bring a flask. Wear two jackets. Never, ever say “we’ve got this” before the final whistle. And when your team does win, don’t celebrate too much. Just nod. Then go home and lie down in a dark room for a couple of hours.

That’s how we do it here. That’s how we’ve always done it. It’s worked for us. Well, sort of.

The real story: Arsenal win at Anfield (BBC Sport)