In Defence of the Sweeper Keeper: Goalkeepers Have Been Stuck in a Box for 150 Years, and Some of Us Have Had Enough

By our Goalkeeping Columnist

St Johnstone’s manager says he wants his goalkeeper to be “like a sweeper”. As a man who has kept goal at five-a-side in Perth every Tuesday since 2004, I would just like to say: thank you.

Nobody thinks about the goalkeeper. Everyone else gets to run about. They get to go to the other end and see what’s happening. They come back with stories. We stand in a box all night like a man waiting for a bus that has been cancelled.

Yes, there are risks. Yesterday at Kilmarnock, the keeper handled outside the box and was sent off. But think of the freedom. Think of the view. Think of the moment, once in your life, when you get the ball at the halfway line and the whole pitch opens up in front of you and you realise you have absolutely no idea what to do next.

I tried it on Tuesday. I came out to the halfway line, received the ball, looked up, and the other team scored from 40 yards into an empty net. My teammates were cross. But I had been somewhere new. I had seen the far goal up close. It was smaller than I thought.

Goalkeepers of Perth, step out. If anyone complains, tell them you are sweeping. Nobody can argue with sweeping. It is a household chore.

The real story: Kilmarnock 2-2 St Johnstone (BBC Sport)