A Sausage Roll Should Be Bigger Than Your Hand. Anything Smaller Is a Canapé, and I Will Not Be Taking Questions
Blair Atholl's new giant rolls have reopened an old argument. Our columnist settles it.
A proper sausage roll, photographed next to nothing, because nothing compares. Photo: Andy Li, “Bacon & maple sausage roll (cross section) - Bread & Milk, Brighton 2024-12-24”, via Wikimedia Commons, CC0
There is news from Blair Atholl that a new bakery is selling sausage rolls the size of a small dog, and I would like to say, on behalf of everyone over the age of 40: finally.
For too long, this country has been sold the “cocktail sausage roll”. It is two bites of pastry with a rumour of sausage inside. You eat six of them at a buffet and still have to stop for chips on the way home.
A sausage roll is not a decoration. It is a meal. It should require both hands. It should leave flakes on your jumper that you are still finding at teatime. If a seagull sees you with it, the seagull should think twice.
I am told some people cut their sausage rolls in half to share. I have no comment on this, except to say that I hope they are happy, and that they are wrong.
Scientists say the ideal size for a sausage roll is “whatever fits in the paper bag”. I say get a bigger bag. Perthshire has never been afraid of scale. We have the tallest hedge in the world. We can manage a large pastry.
If you disagree, you are welcome to write to me. Please write on the back of a bakery bag, so I know where to go next.
The real story: Blair Atholl bakery (The Courier)
Letters to the Editor
The views expressed are those of the reader, and frankly that's on them.
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Hear, hear. If you can eat it in two bites, it’s not a sausage roll, it’s a rumour.
— Kate F., Perth, 1 November 2026 -
Small sausage rolls are for parties. I don’t go to parties. Therefore I want a big one.
— Bob L., Methven, 1 November 2026 -
As a mother of three boys I say the bigger the better. Less time making them, more time sitting down.
— Cath M., Scone, 1 November 2026 -
I disagree. A wee one is perfect with a cup of tea. A big one is a commitment.
— Raymond P., Letham, 1 November 2026
Write to the Editor