“Scotland's Finest News Source, Allegedly”
Signals that stay red for empty streets, flash amber at nobody or simply go dark after midnight say they are 'entitled to a life'.
Building that closed in 2018 'relieved to finally have someone living in it who isn't a man in a suit asking about your overdraft'.
Dunkeld Road reopens on Monday, Perth Street shuts on Thursday, leaving a narrow window that locals call 'the Blairgowrie Spring'.
Parents report children 'calmly unbothered by Scottish weather' and asking for rye bread by name.
Winning firm 'edged it on price, on quality and on being the only envelope in the room'.
Building tells inspectors it has 'a lot going on at home'.
Council confirms display will be 'brief but meaningful, like a Perth summer'.
Feus Road to Collinson View now 'basically a principality', say neighbours.
7,600 rural homes now online, ending centuries of residents having to 'just go and talk to each other'.
Historic Environment Scotland describes crater as 'a site of exceptional cultural and suspension-damaging significance'.
Lights out? Smells nice. Now in Power Cut, Granny's Hall Cupboard and Wet Dog By The Fire. Never leave a lit candle unattended, even a funny one.
Feeling a bit leany? Restores posture to stacks, steeples and uncles after weddings. Consult a qualified professional. Seriously. — Kinnoull Vitality Co.