“Scotland's Finest News Source, Allegedly”
Red Hot Chilli Pipers and QFX confirmed for the Big Switch-On, with neep lanterns still lit. Witches accuse elves of 'jumping the queue'; Santa says he was 'only checking the route'.
The Crieff-born star picks the route home as his best ride. Local cyclists report a sharp rise in 'is that him?' moments.
Plans would turn the former shop into puzzle rooms. Veterans of back-to-school shoe shopping say the hardest puzzle was always 'is that a half size?'
Competitions run from 9am, with the grand finale at 4.15pm. Somewhere in Perthshire, a family can finally hear the telly.
Businesses have written to the First Minister asking for two free hours in the city centre. Shoppers already have spreadsheets.
Community council presses on with Salado link after an angry public meeting. A representative will head to the Salado Highland Games next month, where locals hope someone will finally explain what a 'yee-haw' is in Gaelic.
With guising tomorrow, traditionalists vow to carve a proper turnip lantern. Hospitals report no extra wrist injuries yet, but the day is young.
Perth and Kinross Council's latest tender: a modest bus run taking Kettins pupils to sport in Meigle and Blairgowrie. Football agents across Europe are reported to be 'studying the numbers'.
RSPB plans to replace the play park with an inclusive nature-themed trail. The roundabout says it has given decades of service and deserved to hear it face to face.
Council's £74m pool would be built on Thimblerow, Perth's busiest car park. Campaigners prefer a £50m Glover Street plan. Motorists propose a compromise: a pool with parking bays in the shallow end.
Lights out? Smells nice. Now in Power Cut, Granny's Hall Cupboard and Wet Dog By The Fire. Never leave a lit candle unattended, even a funny one.
Feeling a bit leany? Restores posture to stacks, steeples and uncles after weddings. Consult a qualified professional. Seriously. — Kinnoull Vitality Co.