Perth Issues Storm Loyalty Card as Storm Chloe Books Tuesday Slot: ‘Collect Four, Get a Fifth Free’
Third named storm in five days told the Fair City is 'fully booked but will try to squeeze her in'; residents now owning more sandbags than socks.
Perthetic cartoon: the Storm Loyalty Card, stamped twice. Illustration, not a photograph. Cartoon: Perthetic Art Desk (AI-assisted illustration)
PERTH — With Storm Boelo barely out the door and Storm Austen’s coat still on the peg, Perth was informed on Monday morning that Storm Chloe has booked a slot for Tuesday, prompting the city to launch Scotland’s first Storm Loyalty Card.
“Collect four stamps and the fifth storm is free,” said a fictional council customer-service officer, holding up a laminated card already stamped ‘AUSTEN’ and ‘BOELO’ in what appeared to be mud. “We don’t know what the fifth storm is free of. That’s for a future committee.”
The real picture is less jolly. The Met Office has issued a yellow wind warning covering much of Scotland from 3am to 9pm on Tuesday, while energy crews have spent the weekend reconnecting tens of thousands of homes after Boelo. Perth’s harbour floodgates were shut overnight on Sunday as the Tay rose, and a handful of Perthshire primary schools are closed on Monday because of power cuts. Please check on neighbours, keep torches handy and follow official advice.
Residents, meanwhile, have adapted. “I’ve got more sandbags than socks,” said fictional Letham pensioner Agnes Duthie, 79. “I’ve started knitting covers for them. This one’s called Boelo. That one’s Austen. I’m leaving a space by the door for Chloe.”
At press time the council had confirmed that Storm Chloe would be asked to take a numbered ticket, wipe her feet, and under no circumstances go near the bins, which are still being retrieved from Fife.
The real story: Thousands still without power after Storm Boelo batters Scotland; yellow warning for Tuesday (BBC News, 26 Oct 2026)
Letters to the Editor
The views expressed are those of the reader, and frankly that's on them.
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I’ve got the loyalty card. Two stamps. I’m not proud, but I’m not giving it back.
— Agnes D., Letham, 26 October 2026 -
Fifth storm free? Free of WHAT. That’s what I want to know.
— Kenny D., Tulloch, 26 October 2026 -
My sandbags have names too. Mine are called Stuart and the Other Stuart.
— Sandra W., Craigie, 26 October 2026 -
Chloe. CHLOE. In my day storms were called things like Big Malcolm.
— Bill R., Bridge of Earn, 26 October 2026 -
@Bill there’s never been a storm called Big Malcolm. There was a man though. In Methven.
— Janice M., Craigie, 26 October 2026
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