← Front Page
Weather
Perth Launches ‘Hood Drawstring Tightness Index’; Sunday Rated ‘Full Raisin’
Scale runs from 'Casual' to 'Only Nose Visible'.
Hoods, maximally tightened. Photo: Rocknrollmancer, “Peter Storm vintage cagoule front”, via Wikimedia Commons, CC BY-SA 4.0
PERTH — A new fictional index rates daily weather by how tightly residents pull their hood strings. Sunday scored a record “Full Raisin”, one notch above “Grumpy Turtle”.
Meteorologists say the index is “surprisingly accurate” and “far easier to explain than isobars”.
The real story: Fictional.
Letters to the Editor
The views expressed are those of the reader, and frankly that's on them.
No letters yet. The town is uncharacteristically quiet.
Write to the Editor