Monday, 2 November 2026 · Perth, PerthshireToday: Rain, then some different rain · Est. whenever

“Scotland's Finest News Source, Allegedly”

Vol. CXII · No. 4,822Late Drizzle EditionPrice: One Tablet
← Front Page
Roadworks · Traffic Lights

Temporary Traffic Lights in Methven Celebrate Third Anniversary; Granted Permanent Residency

Lights 'now part of the community', run a book club and stay on red for 'about the length of a chapter'.

Temporary traffic lights, which in Perthshire is a legal term meaning 'forever'.

Temporary traffic lights, which in Perthshire is a legal term meaning 'forever'. Photo: Jonathan Hutchins, “Audley, temporary traffic lights at roadworks - geograph.org.uk - 4261161”, via Wikimedia Commons, CC BY-SA 2.0

METHVEN — A set of temporary traffic lights has celebrated three years on the same stretch of road outside Methven and has been formally granted permanent residency by a grateful village.

“They came for a two-week drainage job in 2023,” said a resident. “The drainage got done. The lights just stayed. Nobody had the heart to ask them to go.”

Villagers have since knitted the lights a little hat and invited them to the gala. The lights are said to have strong opinions: they stay red for four minutes, turn green for six seconds, and are rumoured to recognise certain cars.

“They don’t like my Corsa,” said a local mum. “I’ve apologised to them twice.”

A council spokesperson said the lights would be removed “in due course”, a phrase the village has had engraved on a commemorative bench.

Letters to the Editor

The views expressed are those of the reader, and frankly that's on them.

  1. They’re OUR lights. We knitted them a hat. Hands off.

    — Sheila R., Methven, 21 October 2026
  2. They took four minutes to change for me last week. I finished an audiobook.

    — Dougie P., Almondbank, 21 October 2026
  3. @Dougie they don’t like Almondbank cars. Nothing personal.

    — Sheila R., Methven, 22 October 2026
  4. They're OUR lights. We knitted them a hat. Hands off.

    — Sheila R., Methven, 27 October 2026
  5. @Dougie they don't like Almondbank cars. Nothing personal.

    — Sheila R., Methven, 27 October 2026

Write to the Editor

Your email will not be published. Your opinions, regrettably, will.