Perth Man Unmoved by $5,000 ‘Trump Dividend’, Says He’s Still Waiting on the £10 He Lent His Brother-in-Law in 1997
Local sceptic: 'If I believed every man who promised me money if I did what he said, I'd own Broxden by now.'
The White House, where the cheques are said to be 'basically in the post'. Photo: DJTechYT, “The White House June 2024”, via Wikimedia Commons, CC BY-SA 4.0
PERTH — Donald Trump’s renewed promise of a $5,000 “Trump Dividend” for every adult American, provided Republicans hold Congress in November’s midterms, has been greeted with crushing indifference in Perth, where residents have heard this sort of thing before.
“Five thousand dollars if you vote the right way? That’s just a raffle with extra steps,” said Letham retiree Douglas Ure, 71, from his usual bench on the High Street. “I lent my brother-in-law a tenner in 1997 on the promise of ‘double it back after the Grand National’. I’m still waiting. He’s still promising. He’s never been more confident.”
The scheme, which experts estimate would cost well over a trillion dollars, has prompted a range of explanations from Washington as to where the money would come from, including tariffs, savings, and what one analyst described as “vibes”.
Even the Speaker of the House has said Congress would need to approve the payments, a detail Perth observers say is “very familiar”. “Promise first, find out who has to pay for it second,” said one Perth and Kinross Council watcher. “That’s not a dividend. That’s a capital programme.”
Local businesses have nonetheless sensed opportunity. A North Methven Street bureau de change has begun offering “Trump Dividend Futures”, redeemable for one Murray’s pie “if and when the cheque clears”, while a Scone bookmaker has opened a market on whether the payments arrive before the A9 is dualled. “It’s tight,” said a spokesman. “Both are about 40 to 1.”
Asked whether he would accept $5,000 if it were offered to Scots, Ure considered carefully. “Aye,” he said. “But I’d want it in writing. And then I’d want the writing in writing.”
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