Guest Column: I Am a Grey Wheelie Bin From Tulloch, and I Would Like the People Talking About a Tayside Merger to Consider My Feelings

By Wheelie Bin No. 47, Tulloch

Hello. I am a grey wheelie bin. I live outside a semi-detached house in Tulloch, and I have done since 2009. I have a number painted on my side in white, and a crack in my lid from a very windy night in 2015.

I am writing because I have heard people talking about merging Perth and Kinross Council with Dundee and Angus. Nobody has asked the bins.

I have questions.

Firstly: who will empty me? I am used to Perth lorries. I know the men. I know the sound of their reversing beep. I don’t want to be emptied by a Dundee lorry. I am sure it is a lovely lorry. But I am a Perth bin, and I am set in my ways.

Secondly: will I still be grey? I have heard that some councils have different colour bins for different things. I have heard rumours of purple. I am not ready for purple.

Thirdly, and most importantly: will there be a new bin calendar? It took the family I live with three years to understand the current calendar. They still put me out on the wrong week about once a month. I stand there at the end of the drive all day, full and ashamed, while the neighbours look out of their windows. If you change the calendar, I fear for us all.

I have nothing against Dundee. I have nothing against Angus. I simply ask that when you are drawing your new maps and holding your meetings, you remember the bins. We are the ones out in all weathers.

Thank you. I must go now. It is Monday, and I think it may be my week. Nobody is sure.

The real story: Tayside council merger idea (The Courier)