Falkirk Beat Celtic for the First Time in 19 Years; Perth Five-a-Side Team That Has Lost Every Week Since 2007 Says ‘Our Time Is Coming’

By our Underdogs Correspondent

Falkirk have beaten Celtic for the first time in 19 years, a result that sent a ripple of hope through every struggling team in Scotland.

None more so than the Tuesday night five-a-side team at a Perth sports centre, which has not won a game since 2007.

“Nineteen years is nothing,” said the team’s captain, a plumber from Letham. “We’re at about nineteen years ourselves. Falkirk have shown it can be done. You keep turning up, you keep believing, and one day the other side’s left back pulls a hamstring.”

His team-mates were more cautious. “We’re not getting carried away,” said the goalkeeper. “We said that after the 2014 game, when we got a draw because the other lot didn’t turn up. We celebrated for a week. Then we found out it didn’t count.”

St Johnstone fans in Perth said they enjoyed the result as neutrals. “Anybody beating Celtic is good news for Scottish football,” said a man in a Saints scarf outside McDiarmid Park, “unless it’s us, in which case it’s the best news ever.”

The Perthetic congratulates Falkirk and reminds the Tuesday night team that the sports centre would still like them to return the bibs from 2011.

The real story: Falkirk beat Celtic (BBC Sport)