Perth Faces Last-Minute Neep Rush as Families Remember the Old Ways Took Four Hours

By our Root Vegetable Correspondent

Supermarkets across Perth reported brisk sales of turnips this morning as families vowed to mark Halloween properly tomorrow with a traditional Scottish neep lantern, rather than what one Craigie grandfather called “that soft orange American thing that carves itself”.

By lunchtime, several of those families had discovered why the pumpkin caught on. “I started at nine,” said a mother in Letham. “It’s now half twelve. I’ve got one eyebrow. My husband’s on his second spoon. The neep is winning.”

Traditionalists insist the effort is the point, and that a neep lantern is not truly finished until the whole kitchen smells of it and someone has declared “never again” at least twice.

With the forecast for tomorrow dry by day and a spot of drizzle for guisers after dark, families have been advised to start carving immediately, preferably with help, and to have a pumpkin on standby “for emotional support”.

Leftover neep, local cooks remind us, makes an excellent mash. Perth will be eating clapshot until Martinmas.

The real story: Perth and Kinross news (The Courier)