Monday, 2 November 2026 · Perth, PerthshireToday: Rain, then some different rain · Est. whenever

“Scotland's Finest News Source, Allegedly”

Vol. CXII · No. 4,822Late Drizzle EditionPrice: One Tablet
← Front Page
Politics

Fictional Bridie Select Committee Demands Evidence Session With a Jar of Gherkins

Witness list: one pastry, one pickle, one standing charge, one honest discussion umbrella.

A committee room, flaky.

A committee room, flaky. Photo: Press Information Department, “Prime Minister Sheikh Hasina Attends Business Advisory Committee Meeting 2024-05-02 (PID-0008829) (portrait cropped)”, via Wikimedia Commons, Public domain

WESTMINSTER — The fictional Bridie Select Committee has invited a jar of gherkins to give evidence on equal treatment under everyday fixes.

“We will be fair but flaky,” said the chair. The honest-discussion umbrella has been called as a hostile witness after turning inside out on the steps.

This committee has no statutory power. It has crumbs. That is enough.

The real story: Fictional.

Letters to the Editor

The views expressed are those of the reader, and frankly that's on them.

No letters yet. The town is uncharacteristically quiet.

Write to the Editor

Your email will not be published. Your opinions, regrettably, will.