“Scotland's Finest News Source, Allegedly”
Final phase in Blairgowrie, Bridge of Earn and Bankfoot hailed as 'a stepping stone towards total stillness'.
Cones on York Place, Caledonian Road and King's Place to receive voting rights, a council tax band and, in some cases, a small pension.
Den now has a flag, a border and a strict no-adults policy; council negotiators sent in with juice.
Engineers say stand 'was never designed to cope with that much Bovril'.
Manager hails 'efficiency revolution'; club to sell the spare footballs.
Northbound lane establishes its own parliament; southbound lane declares independence and starts minting coins.
Locals had hoped for at least a modest sawmill 'for morale'.
Town's berry growers demand a seat on the McDonald's global menu board.
Developers say the 'Human Wind Solution' would be visible from Fowlis Wester 'but in a more relatable way'.
Both towns announce 'aggressive' programme of poetry readings, interpretive ceilidh and a giant knitted salmon visible from space.