MILNATHORT — Overnight contraflow lane closures on the M90 at Milnathort, scheduled from 15 October to 3 November for carriageway surfacing, have prompted motorists to begin forming small, functioning societies between the cones.

"At first it was just a queue," said HGV driver and newly elected Northbound First Minister Derek Lumsden, 49. "Then someone shared a flask. Then someone else had a Tunnock's. By 3am we'd drafted a constitution. By 4am we had a flag. It's a cone."

The southbound carriageway, never fully at peace with its northern counterpart, has reportedly declared independence and introduced its own currency, the Milnathort Shilling, backed by a reserve of service station sausage rolls.

Roads contractors insist the works are essential. "We're resurfacing," said a site manager from behind a lit-up arrow board. "What the drivers do in their own time is their business. Although I've asked them not to tax us at the exit slip."

Residents of nearby Kinross, already facing separate overnight lane closures for barrier repairs, say the situation has been "quite exciting, really."

"Normally nothing happens on the M90 except people going to Dundee," said one. "Now there's a whole culture. They've got a folk band. Someone's opened a nail bar in a Transit van."

Experts predict that when the contraflow is lifted on 3 November, many motorists will struggle to readjust to normal life. "Some of them have built lives here," said a sociologist. "One man's been made a judge. He doesn't want to go back to Glenrothes."

Amey and Transport Scotland have apologised for any inconvenience and confirmed the national anthem of the Northbound Republic will be played over the matrix signs at 6.30am daily.