Blairgowrie Granted First McDonald's, Immediately Asks If It Can Do a Raspberry McFlurry 'Since We Basically Invented Raspberries'
Town's berry growers demand a seat on the McDonald's global menu board.

A Blairgowrie raspberry poses near the proposed drive-thru site.
BLAIRGOWRIE — Following news that councillors unanimously overturned a refusal to grant McDonald's permission for a £4 million drive-thru restaurant on the edge of Blairgowrie, the town has wasted no time in issuing its demands to the global fast food chain.
"Number one: a raspberry McFlurry. Number two: raspberries on the burgers. Number three: a 'Berry Meal', which is just a punnet," said Blairgowrie Soft Fruit Liaison Committee chair Douglas Spalding, who has not blinked since August. "We're the raspberry capital of Scotland. McDonald's should be honoured we're even letting them in."
The restaurant, which could employ up to 100 people, will be the first in the Perthshire town, a fact residents have greeted with a mixture of excitement and existential dread.
"For forty years, if you wanted a McDonald's you drove to Perth and pretended you were going to the shops," said resident Gordon Fyfe, 52. "Now I'll have to pretend I'm going to the retail park. That's 300 yards. It's not enough distance to feel ashamed."
Local historians have raised concerns about the site, which was originally earmarked for a hotel. "Imagine all the tourists who would have stayed there," said one. "Now imagine all the tourists who'll just eat a McChicken and drive to Braemar. It's the same tourists, but faster."
In a statement, McDonald's said it was "delighted to be joining the Blairgowrie community". A spokesperson declined to comment on the raspberry proposal, but confirmed that the drive-thru would be fitted with a special lane for tractors during picking season "as a matter of basic survival."